Rainy nights and a full belly leaves little else to do but reminisce about long forgotten crushes. I crush a lot. I had some hard-core crushes that defined my life back in the day. Ones that kept me awake at night; made me feel restless and invisible. But there are other crushes.
Fleeting crushes sting you unexpectedly.
Like when you’re looking for the toothpaste aisle at the drug store and end up spending 15 minutes staring at this tattooed Zeus ponder which water pick to buy and the next thing you know he has a new water pick and you have new toothpaste and life is still the same except your heart is racing a little faster; your throat is a bit parched and you’re overcome with the desire to buy a water pick.
Or when a bartender tells you bad jokes and shows off his dorky Cocktail moves while you fidget and fumble around uncomfortably waiting for a former work friend to show up at a bar that seems too cool for you and your post-workout sweats. But he makes you feel like you belong right there and you’re the most interesting person in the whole place.
There’s nothing stronger than that feeling in that moment. And that moment feels like it could last forever and everything else could fade away. But it doesn’t. The moment ends often as quickly as it began. You go back to your toothpaste; your friend arrives and life resumes as previously scheduled.
Karen O’s Crush Songs is a short, sentimental CD filled with low-fi whispers of love unrequited; lust unfulfilled and romance unrealized in a hazy, unfinished dream-like musical landscape.
Rapt is the first single off Crush Songs which Karen O said she wrote “When she was 27 and crushed a lot. I didn’t know if I would ever love again.” What I like a lot about this CD is its cohesiveness. Today’s musical landscape pushes an emphasis on singles but Crush songs, which was released on Julian Casablancas’s label Cult Records, plays more like a confessional art project, still in its infancy than the much-anticipated debut solo record from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ front woman.
The lyrics are unexpected, at times sounding embarrassingly like bad high school poetry but if anyone can whisper cringe-inducing lyrics and really mean them while still maintaining her rock goddess status it’s Karen O.
Do I really need
Another habit like you?
I really need
Do you need me too?
I believe it’s gonna leave me blue
Rapt is littered with the musings of a hapless dreamer determined to find love no matter how mismatched or fleeting.
Let me go on the
Show, I can cough
I can choke
On this kind of smoke.
You never know when someone will catch your attention. For me it’s usually his unique shoes; or his exceptionally kind rapport with animals or he is unknowingly overly into the music in his headphones. I become enthralled. I’ll continue to mind my own business but somehow my eyes will develop a will of their own. Then my mind goes too. I give him a name and a personality and a job. Sometimes I go so far as to imagine our first meeting; our first date; our first I love yous through to our worst fights.
But then just as quickly as all that imagined love and lust and heartbreak fills my overly-active imagination, it disappears. It flies in strong and overpowering and all-encompassing and then it dissipates into nothing leaving little more than a passing recollection of “Oh he seemed cute.”
Off went the switch
Love is soft
Love’s a fucking bitch.