Sometimes I question who I am, sometimes I question why I’m here

I’m not sure if I would classify myself as a Macklemore and Ryan Lewis fan.  I hate that new song Downtown, so much. It’s corny AF.  But I really, really love their Nardwuar, the Human Serviette interview where they give him a present! (Definitely in my top five favourite Nardwuar interviews.  They are so sweet and Nardwuar seems genuinely surprised by their thoughtful gift!) But I didn’t like that lame text drama from Macklemore when he won the Grammy for Best Rap over Kendrick Lamar.   But I do still love Same Love and White Walls from The Heist and the fact that they are from Seattle.  But I do not really like any of their videos that much.

My long-winded point, is I was not expecting to like some free download from Macklemore worrying about having a baby when he’s a millionaire with a million fans moving through this life and hitting all the generally-expected milestones and I’m this sad old woman with dying eggs stuck destined to live common law for my whole life.  I  feel like my life is stuck at the 25 year-old’s milestone. Dealing with boyfriends and parents and siblings and jobs that just don’t fit.  But the reality is, as much as I’d like to believe I’m stuck, I’m not really.  Time is moving forward.  We are all growing up, whether we like it or not; hitting milestones or not; making babies or not.

Don’t get me wrong, Growing Up (Sloane’s Song) doesn’t  give me baby fever.  It makes me realize that time is passing and we each have things to share or pass along whether to our partners, our friends, our biological kids, our nieces or nephews or younger people that you meet through happenstance and take under your wing for a week, a month or the rest of your life. We all have something worth sharing.

I recommend that you read “The Alchemist”
Listen to your teachers, but cheat in calculus
Tell the truth, regardless of the consequence
And every day, give your momma a compliment. 

 Time is so strange. Some days feel like years, but years pass in what feels like days. Everything between 2006 – 2015 seems just like one very long day.  But the two years when my mom was sick felt like ten.

Times are changing, I know
But who am I if I’m the person you become
If I’m still growing up, up, up, up
I’m still growing up. 

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About preetybird

Just another run-of-the-mill mysterious microcosm of magic, music, merriment and malevolence.
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